Abstinence

With 3 players from ASU and USC, the Oakland Raiders wanted to take a stand against youthful sexual endeavors. Ensuring fans that the organization doesn't promote promiscuity in wake of the recent Marc Tyler USB explosion (see story below), the Oakland Raiders made a bold move at the Owner's meetings in Atlanta on Thursday. The Owners voted 31-0 for a new Collective Bargaining Agreement, with only the Oakland Raiders abstaining. Owner and President Al Davis said the move was done for the "youth of america." "We wanted to make sure that all of our teens know the Oakland Raiders stance. We wanted to provide an example to children on how to say no, and abstain. Now when faced with difficult decisions all children can point to us and say, 'The Raiders did it, so can I!'" -A Telegraph sent to us by Al Davis, received 4 days after original send

-In related news, Oakland Raiders Wide Receiver Louis Murphy was arrested and charged with illegal possession of Viagra without a valid prescription, according to local authorities.