Daily Balks

1.) Former Georgia Tech All-American Center Sean Bedford was fined $5,000 after a written criticism of the NCAA regarding its sanctions on the school, stating that he would be willing to "provide [The NCAA] with that same amount of money [$312] (cash or check, your choice) in exchange for the reinstatement of the title my teammates and I earned through our blood, sweat and tears." NCAA spokesman Stacey Osbourne called the letter ridiculous and said that the offered $312 in cash was "insulting and not even close to a legitimate dollar value for reinstatement."  Bedford, enrolled in the University of Florida's law school, plans to take down the institution that "reeks of an organization desperate to prove that it has some sort of control over its member institutions despite lacking the ability and firepower to police the serious offenders and protect the student-athletes whose interests you purport to have at heart."  Osbourne, obviously insulted by Bedford's "cash or check" comment responded to the media on Friday morning: "I am insulted he would even make that statement. It's always Paypal. It always has been and it always will be" -The Atlanta Journal Constitution.

-In related news, Auburn officials invited the NCAA to their recruitment Happy Hour.

2.) 61 year-old Tom Watson carded a hole-in-one on the par 3 sixth hole in Sandwich, Kent at the 2011 British Open on Friday morning. Watson said that he was intrigued by the possibility after reading an "energy-saving" article in the July Issue of AARP the Magazine. The article suggested doing things in less steps, taking more chances, and doing things that would enable one to take more time resting or doing a leisurely activity.  Watson realized that if he made it in using only one swing he could save an average of 2.5 swings a hole, allowing him more time and energy to focus on his Josephine Baker records at home. 27 years since his last major victory, Watson is looking to use this new approach to his advantage on the very hilly and bumpy course.  Looking for "age-appropriate" sponsors, AARP executives have contacted Watson's agent about a possible sponsorship deal. -Golf Digest.

3.) NFL players and Owners have agreed to a new rookie wage scale, the biggest hurdle of the remaining issues forcing the NFL out of operations since May. According to one owner, the deal includes a "birth-right" option, which gives teams the ability to legally adopt players after their 4th year, controlling all monetary and playing rights for the rest of the player's adult life. "Our players are leaving the game earlier and earlier and we wanted to give our less privileged teams an opportunity to take a budding superstar and take away all of his future opportunities," the owner said. When asked how the players could agree to such a heinous idea, Arizona Cardinals owner Bill Bidwill said that it was a matter of time before players realized that "we can pay a 10 year-old to press B, why would we spend millions on another pawn?" Gabrielle Toledano, the Executive Vice President of Human Resources for EA Sports, the parent company of the "Madden" franchise called the decision "monumental" and hopes that players will finally understand "the sheer talent existing in the thumbs of millions of obese children." Steelers linebacker James Harrison called the ruling "pathetic" adding that if his Xbox "was on fire, I wouldn't piss on it."  Commissioner Roger Goodell said that teams will get an additional 10 million in cap space if they acquire 25 or more foster children. According to reports, Michele Bachmann, will be the first to receive the cap space starting in January. -Sports Illustrated.

4.) The United States Women's Soccer Team is not only benefiting from excellent play in the 2011 World Cup, but also from an increased viewership in the science fiction realm. At a Star Wars trilogy gathering in San Bernardino, California last Sunday, a reported 200 Star Wars fans found themselves accidentally watching Hope Solo and the United States women win a thrilling battle with Brazil. "A Solo is always on our side, not the dark one, the other one," a fan explained. I never knew he [Hans] had a cousin. Or a wife. If so, may the force be with him." After the game, the fans vowed to support this new member of the squadron and scheduled a viewing of Solo's 2007 post-game explosion to get ready for future matches. -@ussoccer_wnt