Balk: (R. Lentini Contributing Writer/ Accidental Occidental Man of Mystery)

"Stern, gothy Barista refuses to give players and owners the key to the NFL"

When asked about the controversy, the Barista in question, Callin Yates responded, "Just because Osi Umenyiora walked in here and ordered a biscotti doesn't

mean the rest of the members of his union get to use the NFL, alright?"

"Take me out to the Ballgame decides against playing during the 2011 MLB All-Star Game"